A Whole New World
by jansoleil
Summary: The Fellowship has to find a way to survive in our modern world.
1. The Blue Door

1 Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters  
  
Gandalf led the Fellowship through the darkness of Moria. They were all tired and some were hungry. Some were always hungry. They doubted Gandalf's ability to steer them through the mine, though none had said it. Gandalf, himself doubted his ability.  
  
Frodo whispered to Merry, "If he was going to leave the choice up to me, he could have at least told me how much Moria sucked, before I decided."  
  
Merry shrugged, "At least the aren't trying to carry us anymore. And I seriously doubt that my ass needed rubbing to keep the frostbite away."  
  
Suddenly, as they rounded a corner, a blue glowing door appeared before them.  
  
"What's this?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"It's a blue glowing door." answered Boromir.  
  
"No shit." Aragorn sneered at him  
  
Boromir shrugged and inched closer to Merry.  
  
Merry in response inched closer to Frodo.  
  
"I hear a foul voice in the air!" cried Legolas.  
  
"Sorry," said Pippin "that was just my stomach rumbling."  
  
Legolas still did not relax. He readied his bow and flinched back and forth.  
  
"Gimli, did you give Legolas his pills this morning?" asked Merry.  
  
"No. Sorry, I lost those in the snow." Gimli sighed.  
  
"I sense danger all around us!" Legolas exclaimed  
  
"I can't believe I am stuck in a cave with a paranoid elf," Aragorn grumbled. "What now Gandalf?"  
  
"Well it is a dead end." Gandalf said. "Either we go through it or turn back"  
  
"I say we give it a try." Boromir suggested.  
  
"It may be a trap of the Enemy." Aragorn warned  
  
"Mr. Frodo stay away from that!" Sam cried  
  
Frodo rolled his eyes.  
  
"Do you think there's food through there?" Pippin asked curiously.  
  
"Let the Ringbearer decide." Gandalf said.  
  
"Oh here we go again. What the hell, can't get worse." sighed Frodo as he stepped through.  
  
"Mr. Frodo, wait!!!" Sam cried and dashed after him.  
  
One after another they passed through the blue glowing doorway.  
  
"Do you need some help little ones?" Boromir asked Merry and Pippin trying to pick them up.  
  
"No thank you!" Merry exclaimed as he and Pippin darted away.  
  
Boromir shrugged and took one last look at Middle Earth as he stepped through and disappeared as the eight before him.  
  
After a moment, Gollum looked around, as he crept to the door.  
  
"We must follow our preciousss!" he said as he leapt through. 


	2. The Bar

The Fellowship blinked and stared around. They didn't know where they were or what they saw. They were standing in the middle of a busy city street. Traffic rushed by them. People yelled obscenities. Legolas pointed his arrow at the passing cars. The Hobbits clutched one another in fear. Gimli readied his axe. Aragorn and Boromir stared dumbly at the strange people passing on the sidewalks. Only Gandalf retained his senses.  
  
"Hurry you fools! We'll be crushed by these strange carts!" he shouted.  
  
They all dashed to the sidewalk and pressed themselves against a building. A few people glanced at them oddly, but then hurried on their way.  
  
"We must get out of sight until I discover where we are." Gandalf advised.  
  
They looked about but all the buildings were full of the strange people. Suddenly Pippin caught a familiar scent.  
  
"Ale!" he shouted, pointing at a bar a few yards down the street.  
  
They hurried to the door and glanced inside. It was dark and mostly empty.  
  
"Make for the darkest corner." Gandalf advised.  
  
They all crowded into a circular booth in the back.  
  
"Where is this strange place?" Aragorn wondered.  
  
"Not even the busiest city in Middle Earth is anything like this." Boromir mused.  
  
"It is some trick of Sauron!" Legolas cried.  
  
"I'm Cheryl. What can I get for you boys?" asked a waitress.  
  
"Ales all around!" Pippin said. "Pints!"  
  
"Very well." Gandalf consented. "A drink will be well received."  
  
"Well that's fine for you five men, but your sons will have to have soda."  
  
"Sons?" cried Merry. "We're not their sons!"  
  
"Whatever sweetie. You still have to be 21 to buy beer"  
  
"I'm 28." said Pippin proudly " And I am the youngest."  
  
She eyed him warily; "You got any ID?"  
  
"Any what?"  
  
"Identification."  
  
"His mum sewed his name in his underwear." Merry laughed  
  
Cheryl turned away laughing. She returned with four huge tankards of beer and four can of Coke. After she left Frodo stared at the can.  
  
"How do you get it open?" he asked.  
  
Legolas examined the can. He yanked the pop-top off and tossed it aside. Then he drew his knife and stabbed the top. A spray of Coke spewed out, drenching him.  
  
"Foul brew!" he cried.  
  
"Let me see." Gimli said taking Sam's can. "We dwarves are skilled at metal work."  
  
He studied it for a bit, them properly lifted the pop-top, opening the soda  
  
Merry and Pippin followed suit and opened theirs. Frodo awkwardly drank his from the jagged hole Legolas had made.  
  
Cheryl passed by and Pippin called to her, "Hey do you have any food around here?"  
  
"Appetizers. What do you like?"  
  
"He likes everything." Frodo laughed.  
  
"I'll bring sampler platters." she said.  
  
She returned with nine plates of fried cheese, loaded potato skins, chicken fingers, and fried mushrooms. They all dived into their food and found it very enjoyable.  
  
"Where ever we are," Sam said, "they have good food and I like this fizzy drink."  
  
"What are going to do now?" asked Aragorn.  
  
" I'd say wait till night fall and then try to find our way back." said Gandalf lighting his pipeweed.  
  
Cheryl brought their check over and sniffed the air as a cloud of smoke came toward her.  
  
"Hey you can't smoke that stuff in here. You want to get arrested?" she said.  
  
"Oh, forgive me, lady." Gandalf said extinguishing it.  
  
Boromir looked at the ticket and handed her some money. She looked at the coins he had handed her.  
  
"Is that not enough?" he smiled at her  
  
"We don't take this kind of money." She explained.  
  
"The currency of Gondor is good!" Boromir exclaimed.  
  
"Well I am sure it is but not here." she said handing it back  
  
"Forgive us again, lady." Gandalf said. "We are not from this land. What type currency do you accept."  
  
"American"  
  
"We don't have of that" Aragorn said "Will you take gold?"  
  
"I better ask Bruce."  
  
She hurried behind the bar. She and the bartender whispered for a moment. He looked at them suspiciously.  
  
"I fear we have drawn too much attention" Aragorn said.  
  
Bruce disappeared into the back room and Cheryl returned to the table.  
  
"He'll take it but he won't make change."  
  
"I am sure this will cover it." Aragorn said handing her several hundred dollars worth of gold pieces.  
  
She put the gold into her pocket and sat down beside Frodo.  
  
"Look, I don't know what's up with you guys but you seem nice enough and I don't want to see you get into trouble. Where are you from?"  
  
"Our business is own!" Frodo cried  
  
"It's okay, Frodo." Gandalf said. "I believe we may need a friend in this strange land. Thank you, lady. We came from Rivendell. I am Gandalf the Grey."  
  
"Is that in Europe?" she looked puzzled.  
  
"I think not." Gandalf said. "We were in Moria on our way to Mordor. We found a blue glowing doorway, which lead us to your city. Can you direct us to the correct path to Mordor"  
  
"I have never heard of Mordor. It sounds German though."  
  
Bruce returned from the back room and eyed the group. He came over to the table.  
  
"Where's my money?"  
  
"Here." Cheryl said and handed him the gold.  
  
"OK you characters get out of my bar. I don't like any weirdoes hanging around scaring my customers. Don't make me call the cops."  
  
Legolas jumped up and drew his bow.  
  
"Hey there, Goldilocks! Watch where you point that thing!"  
  
"We're going now. Put the bow down Legolas." Gandalf said as he rose.  
  
Bruce scowled at the group and returned to his post.  
  
"You guys can't go roaming around the city like this." Cheryl said. "Meet me around back. We can go to my house and try to find a road to Mordor on the Internet."  
  
They all got up and thanked her. Boromir bowed and kissed her hand.  
  
"Thank you beautiful lady! Gondor will not forget this kindness"  
  
She blushed and hurried to clock out and unlock her truck. 


	3. The Ride

They met Cheryl by her truck. They all seemed a bit nervous about riding in the strange cart.  
  
"It's perfectly safe" she reassured them. "We've had them for nearly a hundred years."  
  
"I am sure it is safer than a boat" Sam replied still nervous.  
  
It was decided that Gandalf should sit in the front with Cheryl. Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas would sit in the backseat, while the Hobbits and Gimli would sit in the back storage area.  
  
"It's a fine day when a much esteemed Dwarf is shoved into a storage compartment like some sack of grain" Gimli grumbled.  
  
"You can sit on my lap" Boromir offered.  
  
"No thank you!" Gimli replied shrinking away.  
  
"Everyone buckle your seat belts" Cheryl called  
  
"What?" the said in unison  
  
"Oh never mind. Just hold on!" she said and as she revved the engine and sped out of the parking lot.  
  
  
  
Gollum had followed the Fellowship into the bar and sat watching them from under a nearby table. When he heard of the plans to depart, he slipped out the back door and ran to the parking lot. He watched the girl. He noticed which vehicle she went to. He kept himself well hidden until the group piled into the purple Durango  
  
There was much fussing over who was to sit where. Finally it was decided and she started the motor. Gollum was deathly afraid of the noise and strange smell the vehicle emitted.  
  
"But we can not let our preciouss be lost again." he hissed as he crouched down and ran under the truck. He grabbed hold of the undercarriage and pulled himself up flat, as to not be dragged. The truck started moving with an extra passenger that none of them were aware of.  
  
  
  
The ride to her house proved more challenging than expected. Aragorn turned out to be a backseat driver. Never mind that he had never been in a car before. He insisted on telling Cheryl how fast to go, which lane to get into, and what the other drovers were doing.  
  
"Aragorn I see them!" she exclaimed exasperated.  
  
"Well I'm sorry" he said "I didn't know you had eyes in the back of your head."  
  
"That's what these mirrors are for." she explained  
  
"Oh I see." he said pouting.  
  
"Ha Ha! The Ranger got called down!" Pippin laughed.  
  
"Quiet fool! Or I'll dangle you out this window!"  
  
Legolas, in the meantime, was fascinated by every knob, button, and switch on the dashboard. He kept leaning across and pushing them at random. Cheryl kept having to turn off the windshield wipers, as those seemed to be his favorite.  
  
The Hobbits questioned her about every business they passed. They wanted to stop at every one she said was a restaurant.  
  
"We'll d that another time" she said slapping Legolas' hand away from the gearshift. "Don't touch that or we will crash!"  
  
"Oh no!" he cried and sat back seemingly quailed for the moment.  
  
Finally they arrived at her home and all piled out of the vehicle. She lived in a small house outside of the city. It was on top of a tall hill, amongst a circle of trees. They all nodded approvingly. She ushered them into the house. None of them noticed the exhausted creature that fell from under the truck. 


	4. At Her House

As they stepped inside, they all stared about in wonder. Never had they imagined such machines. Electronics and appliances fascinated them all.  
  
"Let me show you all to the bathrooms so you can clean up and then I will show you what all these things do. Legolas don't touch anything till I tell you what it is." she said  
  
As they took turns bathing, she washed their clothes. The washer held such fascination for some that she had to coax them away. After all were clean and dressed they gathered in the living room. She explained what each device did and how to use it. Each had his favorite.  
  
The Hobbits were fond of the kitchen appliances. Pippin made a whole loaf's worth of toast. Frodo microwaved every leftover in the fridge. Sam used the food processor to chop every vegetable available. Merry set to making fruity mixed drinks for everyone in the blender.  
  
Legolas liked the stereo best. It had lots of buttons for him to push. He amused himself changing the radio station continually and popping in CDs and tapes.  
  
Gandalf was consumed by the Play Station game of Resident Evil. He kept muttering to himself and cursing the zombies.  
  
Gimli was strangely intrigued with the vacuum cleaner. He vacuumed the whole house and had started over again.  
  
Boromir promptly sat down at the telephone and started dialing random numbers. He'd just laugh in amazement when people answered. Someone must have said something rude to him because he shouted, "Gondor will avenge that curse!" and slammed down the receiver.  
  
After that he sulked and watched Aragorn flip through the TV channels.  
  
"Let me have that controller" Boromir said to Aragorn.  
  
"No. I got to it first."  
  
"You are going to quickly to see what is showing." Boromir complained.  
  
"It is nothing good just those advertisements."  
  
"How can you tell? We may be missing something useful. Must you be in charge of everything? Someone is heir to a throne and he becomes a control freak."  
  
Suddenly Aragorn happened upon The Playboy Channel and all squabbling stopped. Even the whirring of the blender ceased.  
  
"Let's watch that, eh?" Pippin called from behind his stack of toast.  
  
"I don't think so." Cheryl said switching the TV off. "You can do that on your own time. Let's get on the Internet and try to find the way to Mordor"  
  
  
  
Of course she had answer a million questions as she booted the computer and signed onto the Internet. Finally they were able to get down to business and search for info on Mordor. They were not able to see anything. Frodo and Merry spent a very long time studying various maps, but eventually they all agreed that Mordor was not to be found.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"That will require some careful consideration" said Gandalf "First, we need to go look for the door back to Moria."  
  
"There was no door back where we emerged" said Boromir.  
  
"Well I guess we need to get settled in this land until I can find someone of wise counsel to aid us."  
  
"How we will we survive?" Frodo cried flinging himself down on the sofa. "I wish the Ring had not come to me and none of this happened"  
  
"Don't you worry." Cheryl said patting him. " I can help"  
  
"What do we need to do?" asked Aragorn  
  
"Well I guess first you need to get money."  
  
"We have gold," said Boromir "since the coin of Gondor is snubbed here."  
  
"Well you can sell the gold coins," she said.  
  
"And I have a ring I can sell" Frodo said popping up  
  
"Not so fast young one" Gandalf said  
  
Frodo sighed and flung himself down again.  
  
"Will you tell us how to get your American money?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"You've got to get jobs"  
  
"Jobs?" they exclaimed  
  
  
  
Suddenly they heard a loud meow and a screech from the porch. The rushed outside. Legolas darted around the corner and returned holding two creatures. One was a yellow striped cat and the other was Gollum.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Frodo cried  
  
"Seagull followsss his preciousss. Bad mean catsss attacks us."  
  
"That's my cat" Cheryl said taking it.  
  
"And this is Gollum" Gandalf said. "I guess he's with us."  
  
"No" Frodo said. "We ought to leave him out here alone in this strange place. He is nothing but trouble to us."  
  
"Frodo perhaps he will be useful to us." Gandalf said. "Bring him inside Legolas."  
  
"Putsss us down, nasty elf"  
  
Legolas carried Gollum inside and dropped him on the floor.  
  
Cheryl felt sorry for the little guy and gave hum what the Hobbits had not eaten.  
  
"Nice lady, feedsss Smeagol. Not mean like rude cross Hobbit"  
  
"So now you better tell us how to get these jobs" Aragorn said putting his feet up. 


	5. Bed And Breakfast

They talked far into the night. Cheryl explained how they might find employment and they told her about Middle Earth. She concluded that that certainly was not anywhere in her world.  
  
"You must have gone through some portal between dimensions" she said  
  
"A what between what?" asked Merry.  
  
"Like a gate between worlds" she explained "I don't know how these things work. You're going to need some kind of physicist to help you with that."  
  
"A physi-what?" Pippin asked.  
  
"A scientist"  
  
"Come again" said Frodo  
  
"A really smart man!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Oh … why didn't you say so?" Sam said.  
  
"I think it's time we got some sleep" said Aragorn stretching.  
  
"Yes" said Gandalf "We can resolve all this in the morning"  
  
They settled down for the night. Gandalf got the guestroom. The four Hobbits were on the sofa bed. Legolas was on the love seat. Gollum was told to share the Aero-Bed with Gimli. Gimli complained a lot about that but when they Gandalf suggested he could share with Boromir instead, he quieted down. That left one Lazy Boy recliner and an old camping cot.  
  
Aragorn plopped down in the recliner and leaned all the way back.  
  
"What is this madness?" exclaimed Boromir. "Why must I sleep on this hard flimsy cot?"  
  
"I've been in this chair since we got here" Aragorn yawned. "Besides I've slept on the ground for like 15 years straight. I deserve it more."  
  
"Mangy, self righteous, over inflated ego, son of a …" Boromir grumbled.  
  
"Hmmm it's good to be King" Aragorn smiled to himself as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Cheryl was presented with a huge breakfast. She showed them the classified section of the newspaper. She gave them each $10 .00.  
  
"I have to go to work now" she told them "You can take the bus anywhere in the city. The bus stop is at the end of the road. Just give the driver a dollar and tell him where you need to go. He will direct you to the right place."  
  
She gulped down the last of her coffee and waved goodbye to them as she dashed out the door.  
  
"OK" said Gandalf "Let's be on our way. We'll split up to find jobs. Don't draw any attention to yourselves. Try to behave like the people around you."  
  
He led them to the bus stop. Soon the bus arrived and they boarded. Once they arrived at the station, Gandalf, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn, each went their own way. Frodo and Sam went together, while Merry and Pippin teamed up. 


End file.
